Waiting for results...

Last week, we met with the neonatologist, Dr. Maria Lachica, who works for Children's Mercy but her office is at Shawnee Mission Medical Center (SMMC). She was, more or less, just explaining what will happen after his is born and that she, or one of the other neonatologists, will be present at his birth. He will be put in the SMMC NICU right after he is born to determine his stability. If he is relatively stable he will be able to stay with me at SMMC for a few days, then be transported to Children's Mercy for further testing and evaluation. If he is unstable, then he will be immediately transported to Children's Mercy. This will be very hard for me, and I am sure for Joe too, only because I know how much I will want to see and hold him and I won't be able to. I am really not sure even if he is stable if he will be allowed to be in my room with me.

We were given the choice to have the fetal MRI. It will not change what will happen after he is born but it will give us a definitive diagnosis of Tuberous Sclerosis if he does have tumors in his brain. We decided to have the MRI. I am concerned that Nick is having seizure's or infantile spasms of some sort and if it turns out he does have growths in his brain then they will assume he is having seizures and they will take him earlier than his scheduled date. And they will be able to control them better if he is born now.

So this past Friday I had the fetal MRI at our local children's hospital, Children's Mercy. They are really great there and take really good care of their patients. That is where Brianna went for her cardiac catheterization, and they were amazing.

The MRI itself was not bad, a little loud and hot, but they tell you that beforehand. What was difficult was laying on my back for an hour without moving. Being 9 1/2 months pregnant, this was very very hard, and very uncomfortable. Plus I think Nick had his little foot jammed up into my ribs which was not the greatest feeling either! But I was able to watch a movie during the scan which really helped pass the time. When it was over I was so relieved and thankful!

So the technicians told us that he would be sending the report to Dr. Lu, the perinatologist, and that we should know something by Monday, hopefully.

For now, we are waiting and praying. We have so many people praying for us, family, friends, strangers, it's amazing. We are so blessed, to have such amazing support.

The Lord has really given me some verses and thoughts that have really been really helping me.

The main verse that has really spoken to me is the first part of Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God." I repeat this verse in my head to remind myself that He is in control and that worrying and stressing over Nick's situation is not going to help anyone. I need to remember that whatever happens is part of His Will for our family and that I need to be quiet, I need to listen and I need to obey.

I was also listening to a woman talk on the radio about how fear is the opposite of love. I had heard this before but it was just now making sense to me. She spoke about how God gives us trials and if we don't allow those trials to shape us because of fear then we are not allowing God's Will to be done in our lives. God loves us and wants the best for us, and I continually need to remind myself that.

I will update if we find out the results tomorrow.

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