Baby Nikolas: August 2011

So I mentioned a couple posts back that our family was needing some prayers and that I would explain why later. Well it's later so I guess I should explain. We received the news a few months ago that we are expecting again. A complete surprise, shock, bewilderment, whatever you want to call it. We had decided before Nick was born that he would be our last. We were happy and content with our little family and that's were we left it. I don't need a lecture on where babies come from, as many people have joked about. I know. We have just guessed that God wasn't done adding to our family and that there is someone else missing from our clan.
I read a quote the other day from Woody Allen, "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans."
Yup, it's true.
So obviously you might be able to tell we aren't exactly 'over-the-moon' about having another child (like we should be). For many reasons. Not that we don't think that God's plan is best, we are just anxious over what the future holds and how we are going to handle another little person. Don't get me wrong, I am blessed to be having another child and I will love and adore this baby just like my other 3, but the timing....it seems so wrong!
Our main stressors right now about this pregnancy are #1-how are we going to handle another child when we are dealing with so much and a daily basis with Nikolas. #2-I do not have health insurance, for three reasons. 1) We cannot afford a $600 monthly premium 2) I do not work, I stay home with the kids and I am still taking college courses. 3) I am relatively healthy and if I get sick I can just pay to see a dr. once in awhile if need be and pray I don't have some major medical issue! So we have no way to get insurance as of right now and will have to pay for everything out of pocket, a pocket that is very shallow these days. And #3- since we still do not have an actual definitive diagnosis for Nikolas (we were told the geneticists really only went with CHARGE syndrome because of his hearing loss, which is actually very very minor) we don't know what the chances are that this baby could have some type of health issues. The chances are pretty good that he/she will not, I guess, because we have two other 'typically developing' children but that doesn't make us feel any better. I truly feel though that this baby will be okay. With Nikolas, I just knew something was different, very different but it took until he was born to actually figure out what!
We've had awhile to 'stew' over our new information and surprise and once our initial emotions settled we finally realized, just like with every other circumstance we have had to overcome, that God is in control. We need to trust that He has our best interests at heart and that we do not have the control. Things will fall into place just as they are supposed to. And that doesn't mean anything is going to be easy but since we have given Him control, everything will happen just as it's supposed to. We are praying, a lot. And we could really use your prayers over the next coming months as we continue to trust that God will take care of us and our beautiful family.
Thanks for reading....sorry this is kinda long! Oh and this new little one is due February 28, 2011.